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Dear Annie: How I found hope on holidays when I was rejected by my family

Dear Annie, You recently published a letter from a person whose father died and whose sister refused to tell her 6-year-old child about the loss. There is a resource that the sister might find useful: ChildrensRoom.org. – Sympathetic in Boston

Dear Sympathetic in Boston: Thank you for your suggestion. I hope this brings her more comfort.

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Dear Annie, I was in a similar situation to the “grieving grandmother,” but the exact opposite was true. My grandmother and parents were not happy with my choice of spouse, so we were not invited to family gatherings. At first I was hurt, but then I thought, “Who cares?” So for the past 30 years, my holiday gatherings at Thanksgiving and Christmas have been full of my “new” family. Seniors whose children don’t have time for them. Young people whose parents cut off contact with them because they are LGBTQ or different. Widows and widowers and other “forgotten” people. They are not forgotten in my house. For the past 30 years, my life and home have been full of joy, laughter, and happiness. My advice to that grandmother is to write off those so-called daughters-in-law and surround herself with others who love her and want to spend the holidays with a woman who loves her and wants to host her. She won’t regret it. —Grandfather to the Without

Dear Grandpa to all who don’t have one: It’s always important to surround yourself with supportive and loving people. It makes you feel more supported and empowered.

How Do I Forgive My Cheating Partner? is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring popular columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation — is available in paperback and e-book. For more information, visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].

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